#14 - Aqua Teens Meet A-Team / Say No to Courtroom

[whatbombsatmidnite]

The Aqua Teens meet The A-Team

or

Just Say No to Courtroom Dramas



By PallWall, myrAdamWest, SparksunderOdinsfoot, Sparksunderscorn, Sparksundersquirrel, psycho doughboy, Mr Thursday Night,

Daemon Seedlet, The Killer Dynamo, SOCOMSoldier017, and WhatBombsAtMidnight

The Aqua Teen Hunger Force arrived at the courthouse to defend themselves against Carl's lawsuit when they walked in and interrupted Harvey Birdman: Attorney At Law trying to defend the Robot Chicken from his demented owner's machinactions.

Mentok the mindtaker did his mind raping powers as usual. Somebody in the whole picture didn't seem to fit. A certain man by the name of Keannu Reeves....

"The matrix loves you" he said after saying dude 40 times.

"But...What.... about me?!?!" said Mr. William Shatner himself lurking in the shadows

"I love you too" he said

"ORDER IN THE COURTROOM YOU MUTHA' FUKA'S!!!" yelled judge Samuel Jackson, slamming his gavel down upon the table.

Harvey leaned down to Robot Chicken. "When did Shaft become judge?"

Robot Chicken shrugged. "Bawck."

"Y'all can be seated now" Said the Space Chicken, assuming the role of bailiff to get some extra feed.

Harvey approached the jury. "Ladies and Gentleman, how would you feel if you tasted the sweet flavor of death, only then to be yanked back into this bitter existence we call life? And on top of that, be forced to watch bad television without the use of a toliet?!"

"Meatwad could answer that." mastershake said.

"I'm not tasting any deaf's yanker."

Shake held up an axe. "Here, I'll help ya. You'll love it."

"Shake! Sit your milky white @ss down before I beat some black into you!" Judge Samuel Jackson yelled.

"Yes, your honor." shake said immediately

"WHAT!?!?!" Jackson yelled.

"I mean…Yes, your pimpness." Shake corrected.

"Throw up your little hats, you’ve graduated!" Jackson yelled

"Not so fast!" said the mad negro with knife. "Gimme yo' wallet or I's gon' cut you!" he demanded. It was Michael Jackson in Blackface. He was just finishing the remake of 'The Jazz Singer'.

Mammy!

"My God! He's gonna scar the adults and defile the children!" a jury member cried.

"Not on my watch!" Frylock said as he shot fireballs out of his eyes and toasted Michael Jackson.

The courtroom applauded as Harvey and the Aqua Teens surrounded the burnt remains to investigate.

"He's certainly blackface now." Shake said.

"Can we continue with the case, now, please?" Harvey asked.

It was in that moment that an oversized marshmallow hit Harvey square in the earlobe. "Hey! That stings!"

He saw that the culprit was seated in the audience. It was Colin, the Irish God of Mischief. He proceeded to wail more mallows at the rest of the group.

"Hey, you're wasting food I didn't pay for!" Shake yelled.

Then Meatwad started eating the marshmallow off of Harvey.

Harvey snapped Meatwad's neck, which in itself was quite an accomplishment considering Meatwad didn't have a neck.

"Hey, only I can do that!" Shake yelled as he attacked Harvey.

As the two brawled in the middle of the courtroom, Frylock floated out into the hall in an attempt to pursue Colin, Irish God of Mischief.

"Smittely mee doo, my irish shoe is off to get me potter!" Colin said, casting a spell on Frylock to transform him into an order of curly fries.

"Message!" said the mailman, who was slumped against the wall being ignored by everyone.

Shake, Meatwad, Carl, Harvey, and the Robot Chicken ran out into the hall to see Frylock's hair was now...curled.

"Ha HA!" Shake yelled. "Looks like you got that jerri curl you always wanted, Frylock!"

"I'm gonna kill Colin! Or at least sue him for personal injury!"

"I'll take the case!" Harvey decreed.

"But first, we need to catch him."

"Or we could not. Stay here and do what we came here to do." Carl said. "Like getting me my money."

"How can we catch him?" Harvey asked.

"Bawck!" Robot Chicken said.

"He's right," Meatwad agreed. "We need to hire the A-Team!"

Suddenly, a van crashed through the wall crushing the mailman,

"I pity the fool who dilivas mail!" said an overly caffeinated Mr.T.

An older gentleman smoking a cigar got out of the van. "How can we help?"

"We need to stop an Irish mischief god from terrorizing south Jersey!"

"And we need tickets to see the Backstreet Boys!" Meatwad added.

"We also need to see many a chick's naked boobs!" Shake yelled.

"Yeah, and hot wings!" Carl agreed.

"Bawck!"

"Well," the gentleman began, "I think we can fill that order. Everyone, in the van!"

The all went outside and were surprised to discover that they're van was full of a couple of people. "holy sh1t! It's the A Team!" Carl said.

"Not too bright, are ya, Carl?" Harvey said. "You just demanded hot wings from 'em."

"I thought they were the Mission:Impossible guys, alright?!? And don't insult my intelligence, bird guy, or you'll be eating those wings of yours."

"And you don't want to pass those, believe me!" Shake said.

"Lt Barclay, lay in an intercept course!" the older gentleman said.

"Hannibal, my name's Murdock, not Barclay."

The older gentleman just chewed on his cigar. "Let's go."

Before long, the entire group realized that finding one Irish ANYTHING in South Jersey was a bit harder than they'd assumed at first, but not to be daunted, Face showed everyone his headshots for a while.

"Wow, could you possibly be any more flaming?" asked Masta Shake.

"Only if I somehow catch fire from the beatdown with this grenade launcher that I'm about to give you," replied Face.

"Point taken." Shake replied, just as B.A. Baracus pointed out...

"Shoot, we need bait first, fool!"

Shake exclaims then, "Good point, but what can we use?"

*Moment of silence*

"Swiss cheese?" questions Face.

"Meatwad, take the form of a beer mug!"

"OK." Meatwad morphed his body to look like a tall mug of beer.

Shake slid open the van door and kicked Meatwad to the curb. "Now wait for the crazy Irishman!"

Carl was fondling a Soviet AK-7 machine gun with bayonet. "Can I keep this?"

"No, it's a personal gift from my..uh..Uncle..Remus". Shake replied.

"eh whateva" Carl replied

"Who the hell is that walking down the street?" Harvey Birdman asked.

"It's Detective Sonny Crockett!" Murdock said.

"That's Don Johnson, moron." Face said.

"Either's prettier than you, boyo." Shake remarked.

"No, it's that crazy Bullseye! Frylock, can I get back in the van?!"

"No, Meatwad. Stay there. BA, you ready?"

"This fool won't know what hit him!"

It turned out to be neither of these men.

"Who are you?" Shake asked rudely.

"I'm Mark Hamil."

"Eh whatever loser." shake said.

Mark held his hand out and used the force to throw shake into the van's door.

"Don't **bleep** with the Jedi Master son." Mark said as he walked toward the un looking group.

As Hamill walked away, Shake went over and kicked Meatwad. "That isn't a beer mug! You look like a glass of goat milk!"

"I'm not sure this is the best strategy, Hannibal." Face said.

Then, there was a flash of light, and the interior of BA's van was turned to pink, including fuzzy seat covers and a fuzzy steering wheel cover.

"What the hell? What fool is **bleep** with my ride?"

"Look!" Harvey said.

They all looked out on the other side of the van to see Colin smoking and giving them the finger.

"That fool is toast!" BA started up the van and planned on mowing the Irish mischief god down with his newly decorated van. Just as BA's van was about to collide with Colin, the trickster snapped his fingers and the Macy's Parade balloon of Garfield appeared between them. The van crashed into the fat orange cat's crotch. BA started hitting his hands off the wheel.

"I don't think that's helping." Harvey suggested.

"You guys should change your names to the **bleep**-team." Shake said.

"The only way to out-trick an annoying spellcaster is to find another. But who?" Curly Frylock said.

"Justin Timberlake?" Meatwad asked.

"I got it!" Murdock exclaimed. "Orko!"

"What the frig is an Orko?" Carl asked.

"Orko was the palace magician on Eternia in He-Man." Frylock answered.

"Nerd." Shake replied.

"But how do we find him?" Face asked.

Then Hannibal and Frylock looked at each other, answering in unison: "Skeletor!"



* * * *

Skeletor was relaxing in his message chair when the doorbell at SnakeMountain's loading dock rang.

"30 minutes or less my a$$." Skeletor answered the door to see the Aqua Teens and the A-Team.

"Keldor, we need your help." Curly Frlock said.

"**bleep** no." Skeletor said as he closed the door.

As he walked away, the door exploded. Frylock led the team in. "You can't keep turning your back. There is good inside you, I can feel it."

"Everytime I go on these adventures, it gets completely out of hand and frankly I could care less if the four Earths all diminish."

"We're trying to stop the Irish God of Mischief." Murdock said.

Skeletor turned to face them. "Colin? That annoying little insect?! You don't have the power for that!"

"We need Orko."

That's when Christopher Walken came threw a Skeletor’s Bathroom door in a robe,

"It’s that cowbell guy!" said Carl

"Only one man can call me that!" he yelled as he lunged for Carl’s Throat.

"That one man...is gone. And so is his fabulous cooking"

Emeril.

BA split them up. "I'm the one who scraps around here!"

Frylock turned to Skeletor. "What's he doing here?"

"All brilliant masterminds need to lay low. Besides, he continuously amuses me."

Shake and Meatwad hid behind Hannibal. "I loved you in Deer Hunter!"

Skeletor aimed his Havoc staff and a portal appeared. "Through there you will enter the Eternian palace."

"Thank you, Keldor. We will not forget this." Frylock said.

And with that, the Aqua Teens, Carl, and the A-Team went through the portal before it closed.

"So..." Walken began. "Can we call some hookers?"

* * * *

In the morning, Walken was laying on a round bed, covered in dead prostitutes.

* * * *

As the Aqua Teens and the A-Team ventured through the quiet halls of the Eternian palace, Shake loudly munched on a Nestle Crunch bar.

"Shake, could you keep it down. We're trying to be stealthy, slip in and out quietly."

"What, like that volleyball player that comes over every night?"

"Quiet, you two." Hannibal said.

That's when Christopher Walken broke through a plate glass window with a chainsaw and hooker skin draped over his body. "I swear," said Walken, in his trademark tone, "they were dead when I found them!"

Just then, a two-legged dog on wheels came rolling toward them at blazing speeds. Everyone jumped to the side as the roller-dog sped by and knocked Walken back out the window.

"That guy scares me, Frylock."

"I know, Meatwad. I know."

"What's going on out here?" asked Orko, the floating magician. "Spot, did you make-" Before he could finish, Shake pulled a garbage bag over him and tossed the sack to BA.

"Shake, where'd you get a garbage bag?" Frylock asked.

"I had it on me since you asked me to get rid of those raw chickens."

"That's the same bag?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

That's when Orko began to scream. That scream woke up Prince Adam and Ken Carson, Barbie's ex-boyfriend. So Prince Adam transformed himself into He-Man and Ken followed him.

Meanwhile, a fat man in an overcoat and his hetero life mate were on a flight to Sydney, Australia.

+ + + + +++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"Wake up lunch box!!!" Jay said. "We're almost there."

Silent Bob was dreaming of a courthouse drama w/ the Aqua Teens, the A Team, and Christopher Walken. "Walken must still be alive..." Silent Bob thought as the plane taxied onto the runway and prepared to dock.

* * * * *

As the Aqua Teens and the A-team commandeered a jet, Meatwad screamed out in agony.

"What's wrong, Meatwad?" Harvey asked.

"It's all that insulation he eats!" Shake yelled.

"I had this dream that we were a dream to a fat man and a junkie."

"Woah, that's deep meatman." Carl said.

"Unhand that floating puppy!" He-Man boasted as he turned the corner.

"Yeah, he was on his way to get more KY." Ken added.

"BA, cover us!" Hannibal commanded.

BA and He-Man clashed as the others climbed into the jet.

Murdock stared at the controls with a blank look on his face.

"Come on, Howling Mad!" yelled Face.

"I'm rated on a huey, not this thing!"

Just then, Christopher Walken came in from the bathroom.

"You think... you can get rid of me... that easily? Me? Me?" he asked.

He then pulled out a gun and shot Master Shake in the head and proceeded to eat him.

Everyone stared, but, later, was glad he did it.



Just then, dposse wanked off to hentai.

But what dposse was looking upon wasnt just any hentai it was Baby Looney Tunes guro tentacle rape, after he was done he decided to go take a swim at habbo hotel, he couldn’t wait to swim in the pool "Oh what a joyous swim it shall be" he said alloud. But suddenly a group of men with large afros and business suits appeared by the pool entrance dancing about. "Excuse me i'd like to get into the pool" anounced dposse. "The pool's closed" said one of the men with the pecular afro-suit combo. "Wtf why?" dposse was confused, hurt, devastated. "Aids in the pool" muttered another one of the afro-suit combo men..................

then there was silence.......then nothing

Just then there was a small crack sound.

Apparently, dposse saw an eleven-year-old girl in a swimsuit and couldn't hold back from exploding in his pants.

"More like a snap," said Mr. Walken, laughing.

just as dposse fapped his 5th pair of pants, he decided to approach the little girl. Licking his lips he approached her cautiously trying not to frighten her. All of a sudden a voice came out of shed by the pool. "What do you think your doing sir?" It was the voice of Chris Hansen from datelines to catch a predator, dposse was then ambushed by a camera crew and police officers, "I just came to help her with her breat stroke" yelped dposse in a pathetic high pitched tone. Dposse was thrown in prison and raped by several black men

"You like them little girls, don'tcha, honkey!?" said the big black man as he pounded dposse every night for six years.

"No, sir! I like your **bleep** in my **bleep**!" dposse was soon forced to say.

Dposse soon became accustomed to the taste of a black mans **bleep**, infact he would even arrange bukkakes to take place.

Dposse was soon the **bleep** of the entire prison. Inmates were shanked over his fat **bleep**.



Of course, all of this happened after Murdock found a way to pilot the Eternian jet and escape, using dposse as a distraction to elude Christopher Walken.

"Game over, man, game over!" Face yelled. "We abandoned BA, Walken shot the milkshake! What are we gonna do?!"

"Snap out of it, soldier!" Hannibal ordered. "We have a mission at hand!"



* * * *

Colin, the Irish God of Mischief, was having a pint when all of a sudden his beer turned into a box of Wheat Thins. "Bloody hell!"

He turned around to see Orko. "Sorry." Orko looked at him. "Don't you know you should really watch your cholesterol more?"

Colin replied, "I'm IRISH, ye idjit, does it look like I give a green feck what my LDL or HDL or DSL is at?!"

"Good point," Orko said. "So, I take it you're the one responsible for the mayhem?"

Colin looked absolutely flabbergasted..."Wha...what mayhem, boyo?"

"Oh, no! But if YOU'RE not the one doing this, then who is?!" Orko practically screamed...as a 6-inch tall Strawberry Shortcake climbed out of Colin's pants and snapped her fingers, turning the whole bar into a beauty salon...for ducks!

The Aqua Teens and the A-Team survivors watched in complete disarray. Harvey Birdman and Carl tried to leave. "I think it's time I go get my car inspected."

Strawberry Shortcake tossed Colin aside and faced off with Orko. "You're going down."

"No, you're going down - on me, ho!"

All of a sudden, J-Lo's gaping **bleep** swallowed the entire universe and the entire dilema was now taking place in the rectum. The rectum of Jlo's arsenal gear.

Then, a man with a red tie on his head busted in through the front door of the Duck Beauty Salon,

"Zombies, everywhere!"" he said

"You have red on you" Colin said.

"What are we gonna do!" Meatwad said,

"No worries, mate," said Mrs. Swan. "He ahhh, look a like a man"

"Why are we surrounded by tacos?!"

"ORKO!!! Get us out of here!" Frylock yelled.

"Oh, please God, get us out of here!" Carl insisted.

Orko concentrated as StrawbeRry Shortcake tried to attack them. "I will not be left here alone!"

"Sorry, lady, but you can have JLo's rectum all to yourself!" Meatwad cried as Orko transported the Aqua Teens and the A-Team out of JLo's a$$.



* * * *

Frylock and Meatwad awoke in their living room, only to find dposse making love to their chair.

Space Ghost came to the rescue, and exploded dposse dead

he had finally solved world hunger

Dposse's prison buddy then came in the door with a shotgun, shooting Frylock in the face, killing him real good.

Meatwad came out of the bedroom, followed by Christopher Walken.

"That was nice," said Meatwad.

Chris greeted the big black man with a smile and greasy crotch.

"How are you, good sir?"

"I AIN'T GOT NO CORN BREAD!" screamed the angry negro, then pointing his gun at Space Ghost.

Space Ghost was repetidly shot in the face until the barbaric black was satisfied.

"We all outta koo-aid" Said the Negro

Dposse's parts slowly started to morph back together, like T-1000 in Terminator 2

Dposse immediatly went over to his computer, signed on to the asmb, and franticlly hit the Report Button

Micheal Clark Duncan came into the room and healed space ghost back to life with his magical negro breath

But just as Space Ghost staggered back up Michael Clark Duncan devoured him

"Pwned" said Christpher Walken



* * * *

Frylock slid off his virtual reality helmet to see Carl standing there. "And that's why you don't want me to have to take youse guys to court. You hearing me, fryman?"

"I hear ya."

"Hey, Carl!" Shake yelled from outside. "You think your pool is insured?"

"Shake, no!!"





THE END